HOW TO RAISE AN AWAKENED CHILD

Children are born with a deep, innate knowing of right and wrong. Their internal guidance system is fresh to be molded; an uninfluenced, clean slate. Kids are completely brilliant; they think with their emotions and come from the heart. They are blunt, unafraid of who they are and’ll make sure you don’t forget it!

Don’t impose ideologies on them
When children are born into families that immediately direct them to believing a specific thing; it’s all they know. Your parents are your protectors, they show you between right and wrong.

When the first thing you’re taught is “life is this way, you must act in obey this way of thinking and you have no say in the matter” you have no choice as a little three year old but to listen.

Allow your children to create their own world with their own rules. Guide them, show them from right and wrong but let them learn it themselves.

Children don’t need to be immediately taught about God, they just experienced it. Their connection to Source energy is incredibly strong.

Let them explore their imagination and bask in its realness. It is very much real, their creativity is infinitely beautiful.

Teach them about Gender Fluidity
Ultimately, we are bodiless all-knowing energies that exist beyond gender. It’s more than okay to be gay, transgender or identify as both or neither genders.

We are aliens, holograms, powerful creators that exist above the concept of gender. Male and female energies are the ebb and flow of life; they exist beyond biology.

Teach your children that love transcends biology and what society has deemed normal. It’s okay for boy’s to wear dresses and play with dolls. It’s okay for girls to play with cars and dress like a ‘tom boy’.

Let your child decide, you don’t need to explain the psychology behind why people are transgender; they inherently understand already.

Show them both sides of the coin, explain how blue is a color, not a boys color.

Explain how boys can wear pink. Explain that running, throwing or acting like a girl means absolutely nothing.

Explain that we’re taught these things and that doesn’t mean it’s actually the truth.

This isn’t an inappropriate or bizarre topic to explain to a child, they have wisdom beyond their years and understand through feeling.

Let them be Who They Are
Let your kids dress themselves, define themselves, question themselves and explore themselves. They are new to physicality and it’s all very exciting.

This goes back to gender fluidity, let them explore who they are. There’s no need to push in one direction, let them do what feels right.

If a boy wants to wear a dress, there is no problem with that other than the ones you or society has created.

Let them draw messily and praise them for it. Praise them for trying and acting with passion. Engage with their crazy ramblings, let them get stuck on a thought and work around it.

This is how you learn.

Encourage them with positivity, not negative reinforcement. It’s been proven that positive reinforcement works and it feels good for everyone.

Listen to them
Children are hilarious, beautifully wise, insightful and just plain silly. Some children have an incredible sense of self and can articulate fully at a very young age. Others are quiet but empathic, taking everyone’s energies in. Others are rash, loud and restless.

This is how they explore themselves and the reaction they’ll get from everyone around them.

See how they act around you verses others. Feel your child’s energy; as a mother specifically, they are a complete extension of you.

Both parents are intimately connected with their child, and it seems as we grow up that connection can fade. The design of society has completely shifted our way of family living.

Listen to your child without judgment. Let them know and show them that it is safe for them to be who they are. Show them by keeping your word, understanding their point of view and actually taking the time to process their feelings.

Don’t assume children are lesser because they are young. They have just come from Source, they are infinite creatures of creation.

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How to smell your way to success (or happiness)

There’s something about scents and how they can take us away with just one whiff. Be it food, perfume, or freshly laundered sheets, one deep breath is all it takes to induce hunger, desire, or longing for home.

When the topic of scent is brought up, perfumes come to mind. Humans have a long history of wielding the power of scent through fumed, or smoked, leaves and flowers. Egyptians were known to use incense and perfumed oils thousands of years ago for ceremonies and religious rituals. Throughout the ages, various scent concoctions have symbolized affluence, power, and class. These days, with the popularity of celebrity signature fragrances, perfumes carry a more aspirational note – if I want to be like Rihanna, then I can start by smelling like her.

Aside from stirring powerful memories or evoking a certain emotion, did you know that different kinds of scents can give you power for everyday situations, too? If collecting bottles of Eau de Toilette is a little too indulgent for you, don’t worry: harnessing the power of scent doesn’t have to be limited to spritzes from a bottle. Affordable essential oils, bath products, and even your clothes can be just as potent in carrying lasting scents.

Want to make everyday situations a little more special? Use your scents to smell your way to success (and happiness):

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Oh joy! Oh rapture! A language of happiness

Last year, to mark the United Nations International Day of World Happiness, on March 20th, the EU’s Eurobarometer ranked Ireland among countries with the highest quality of life. We are meant to infer that we are happy.

It may be imprudent to assume that happiness and quality of life are unrelated, although I suspect you can have one without the other – and, indeed, neither can be easily defined by the other.

It is fatuous to suggest that material needs are irrelevant to contentment. Tet happiness is more private, more personal than this. It is an inner quality with an outward expression. You can tell a happy person by their gait, their bodily attitude, their willingness to smile, their easiness in their own skin. You might mistake it for nonchalance.

Happiness is a bit like grace: it’s a gift. You receive it when you release your hold on worry and attachment. It’s a letting go more than a grasping. It’s a childlike sense of wonder at the variety of experience still available to us.
In Tristia the Russian poet Osip Mandelstam wrote: “O indigence at the root of our lives, / how poor is the language of happiness!”

That seems to be true. In literature we have long passages given to rapture and joy. They concern the great outdoors, the sea, sex, beauty. They applaud the scenery, the climate, birdsong and heaving bosoms. You find them in Melville, Austen, Lawrence, James and Eliot, but happiness is a different animal to joy.
The tutor of a writing workshop I attended told the class that in order to write you had to have something happen, and then something else had to happen, and so on. It was the happenings that created the story.

When we relate our own story we tell it through a succession of happenings. But what’s left out, I suggest, is the simple happiness of the ordinary in the gaps between the happenings. It’s no coincidence that both words have the same root.
I realise that, for many, happiness is elusive. There is too much loss or grief or anxiety or ill health, but even these people may have known periods in their lives when there was happiness. It is centred on love, I think, and is a feeling of ease and reconciliation.

When I was a child I worried that there was no roof on the world, that we were all exposed to the great abyss of the universe. But I also recall the words of TE Hulme in his poem Embankment: “Oh, God, make small / The old star-eaten blanket of the sky / That I may fold it round me and in comfort lie.”

I’m not religious, although I feel an urge to both rail and be grateful. I’m careful not to confuse happiness with smugness or elation or a lack of empathy. That said, we need to further explore the language of happiness.

In Snow, by Louis MacNeice, the poet contemplates the multiplicity of sensations both within the living room and without in the garden: “There is more than glass between the snow and the huge roses.” Here “more” refers to the exquisite taste of tangerine, the great bay window, the bubbling sound of a fire flaming, the spawning flakes , the pink flowers, the “drunkenness of things being various”.

Coming into the summer now, we can expect a barrage of colour in our gardens. At the heart of the experience of the ordinary lies happiness, and it remains unmeasured by the UN.
Written by: Isabelle Cartwright
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Let's Break Up

From 'wahh' to 'blech,' new Scrabble words bring stress to players

Mmmm (six points).

That's how Tom Tremont, of Glen Ellyn, said he feels about the new Scrabble words he can play at the annual Arden Cup Scrabble tournament in Elmhurst this weekend.

Tremont said he is excited about the thousands of new entries including mmm (an expression of pleasure) recently added to the Official Scrabble Wordlist despite the hours he's spent learning the new words. Another Scrabble player not as enthused about studying could look like an eejit (12 points) in tournaments.

Pac-Man's 35th birthday celebrated at Schaumburg shrine to video game
Pac-Man's 35th birthday celebrated at Schaumburg shrine to video game
"I know there's some of the older players, they are a little frustrated because they didn't really want to have to learn new words," said Tremont, 66.

The Elmhurst tournament will have players using the Collins dictionary, which added 6,500 words this week, or the Official Scrabble Players Dictionary, which added 5,000 new words in April.


The new Collins list, which includes lolz (to laugh at someone else's or one's own expense, for 13 points), wahh (an interjection used to express wailing, for 10 points) and checkbox (a small clickable box on a computer screen for 28 points) were "influenced by all parts of life including social media, slang, technology and food, plus English from around the world," according to a post Thursday on collinsdictionary.com.

There are now more than 276,000 words on the expanded Collins list, commonly used outside of North America.

Tremont, who uses the Official Scrabble Dictionary, got a list of the new words in February and has been studying ever since with a program that displays playable words with the letters scrambled.

Scrabble adds 5,000 words: Do you know what a quinzhee is?
Scrabble adds 5,000 words: Do you know what a quinzhee is?
To prep for the Arden Cup, Tremont said he has been studying two hours a day for the last three weeks.

Oak Park resident Chris Schneider, 45, said he's been studying the new words for two hours a day on average for the last two months. Schneider said he's played in two tournaments in Dallas since the new list took effect last month.

Schneider said in one tournament, his opponent used the new word gi (a loose-fitting karate uniform for three points). Still, Schneider doesn't mind the new words, he's even embracing them.

"If I study harder than most of my opponents, I'm going to have an edge," said Schneider, who is ranked by the North American Scrabble Players Association as the fourth best Scrabble player in Illinois. "It's very competitive, even if it's a small community."

Evanston resident Doug Lundquist, who uses the The Official Scrabble Players Dictionary, said he wished he could use the slang words now included in the Collins dictionary.

"It's fun to play 'twerk,'" said Lundquist, 43.

Schneider said the biggest game changers with the expanded official list are the four new two-letter words: gi, da (father), te (the seventh tone on the musical scale) and po (an informal word for chamberpot). The two-letter words help competitors get a bingo, a play involving all of a player's seven tiles.

Tremont, who is ranked by the NASPA as the 15th best Scrabble player in Illinois, said he is glad there are more options now for two-letter words but he's particularly pleased about a new six-letter word.

"I'm really glad they put 'mojito' in there, because I like those," Tremont said.

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Mindfulness in Your 20s: How to Use Gratitude As Fuel for Happiness

Plenty of research shows that gratitude is a key component of happiness. Even when practicing mindfulness, expressing loving-kindness to the world is an important step to a healthy mind. Taking time each day to fill up your tank with gratitude can be a useful way to travel through life.

I'll go first, then it's your turn:

I'm thankful for myself.
This past winter surrounded my car with a lot of snow. Before I complained about it, I was thankful I had the physical ability to shovel myself out. I was thankful I had the mental ability to know how to drive and have a job to drive to. And when I got so distracted with thankfulness that I stepped on a sheet of ice and bit the pavement, I was thankful I had the emotional ability to laugh at myself.

I'm thankful for my family.
Being a grown-up is hard. I want to go back to college where other people make my dinner, my bills are paid for in one enormous check, and I can still be wearing my flannel pajama pants at noon. Luckily, my parents know more about life than me and are only a phone call away. I just think every piece of food should come with extremely specific directions of how it needs to be cooked. Also, everything under a car hood should be color-coded; the only time you see it is when you're frustrated anyways. And why is it legal to make clothing out of material that can shrink? I guess what I'm trying to say is: Thanks, Mom and Dad.

I'm thankful for my friends.
You know how people walk past you throughout the day and instinctively say, "Hey, how are you?" even though there's a good chance they don't even remotely care about how you answer that question? Find the people who do care about your answer. Those are your friends. And I am thankful for each and every one of mine.

I'm thankful for that lady at the grocery store today who had trouble counting.
I ordered half a pound of turkey. She gave me 1 full pound and then asked if it was ok that she was "a little" over. Although I was "a little" annoyed, the counter was packed with other waiting customers, and I sensed she was very stressed. So, I thanked her. Because I remembered that I am financially stable enough to afford the one pound, which definitely made me feel grateful.

I'm thankful for my dishwasher.
Seriously. I am. Even though it annoys me. As I write this, the dishwasher in my apartment is louder than a warzone. Not to mention I could make an entire new dish set on a pottery wheel before that machine cleans the ones I have. But you know, it's ok. Because I'm thankful for the time a dishwasher saves me. Plus, now I know what it sounds like to be next to a hurricane.

I'm thankful for you.
Whoever you are. There's a chance you are a friend of mine, and you're reading this blog out of friendship obligation. But if this does make its way to the screen of someone who I don't know, I'm still thankful for you. And I wish you the best in life. And you look nice today. I know I'm assuming, but I still like to make a good first impression.

Try Thanks
OK, now your turn.

A major component of mindfulness is expressing loving-kindness for everyone around you, including yourself. This is really tough to do for the people who annoy you, dislike you, or have wronged you. But those are the people who will end up teaching you the most about life anyways. So, even if you have trouble being thankful for these people, you can at least be thankful for how their actions have shaped you.

Once a week, use some quiet time to silently express gratitude to the world. Start with yourself, then slowly move to a family member, good friend, annoying friend, acquaintance, stranger, everyone you see, and then the world. Take a deep breath in between each level of gratitude. Let it fill you up.

You could also consider keeping a gratitude journal. Each night, write down three things that you were particularly thankful for that day. That way, you're going to sleep with the light of others shining in your heart rather than the light of your phone shining in your eyes.

Take time to find the thankfulness in every situation. Once you are filled with thanks, find ways to express that gratitude in what you say and do. One of the easiest ways to feel happy is to make someone else feel it first.

Then, come over to my place for a sandwich. I hope you like turkey.

Written by: Blake Collainne
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Perth finds peace of mindfulness with growing popularity of meditation in WA

A SILENT revolution is happening across WA.

Mindfulness meditation is the latest ancient Buddhist practice to go mainstream.

And it’s proving popular for everyone from high-ranking corporate chief executives to schoolchildren.

Devotees include Hollywood heart-throb Hugh Jackman, actor Angelina Jolie, David Jones chairman Gordon Cairns and AFL coach Paul Roos. Schools across WA including Perth College, Inglewood Primary School and Carine Primary School are using the inner-peace technique to help pupils stay calm and focus on their studies.

WA Treasurer Mike Nahan, staring down the Budget fight of his life, is also a fan.

“It makes me feel good,” Dr Nahan told The Sunday Times.

“It’s relaxing and relieves the pressures of everyday life.”

So what is it?

Mindfulness is a form of meditation that focuses on paying attention to what is happening in the present moment with a “non-reactive and accepting attitude”.

You are not meant to think about anything from the past or that may be coming up in future.

It is supposed to help clear your head, slow down your thoughts and help you relax.

A recent study found mindfulness meditation is as effective at treating depression as medication.

Fans claim it boosts the immune systems, helps fight obesity and improves attention span.

Jean Byrne, an Honorary Research fellow at Curtin University in nursing and midwifery who has trained a number of mindfulness teachers, said there had been a big increase in students wanting to learn the practice.

“People are starting to realise that you don’t have to be a monk to meditate,” Dr Byrne said. “This is a practice accessible to everybody.

“It’s not a quick-fix, it does require time investment, but the benefits are potentially huge. In some situations research has shown mindfulness meditation is as effective as medication.”

Dr Byrnes, who has practised meditation for the past 20 years and is co-owner of Yoga Space, has provided lessons to major oil and gas companies, small businesses and not-for-profit groups throughout Perth.

Yoga Space offers 500 free classes a year to the not-for-profit sector, including pregnant inmates at Bandyup prison.

The programs have been “well-received” at the refuges by women and their children.

“The children felt calmer and more capable of dealing with their anger, by practising yoga,” Dr Byrne said.

She says practising mindfulness offers a multitude of benefits, which is why she meditates and practices yoga each day for at least an hour.

“It’s wonderful for chronic pain, irritable bowel syndrome and any sort of ongoing chronic health conditions,” Dr Byrnes said.

“Mindfulness practice is good for anxiety and stress, and one of the best forms of self-care available that can be used in parallel with the best of western medical care.”

CPS principal Anne Fraser said the 550 students at her primary school “loved” mindfulness meditation.

All staff were taught the practice.

“Kids aren’t getting a lot of downtime,” Ms Fraser said.

“We found that being able to take a few minutes out of the day to clear your mind, concentrate on relaxing your body and put a smile on your mind was beneficial.

“The kids say it’s great to have those moments to just relax and it helps them prepare for their afternoon lessons.”

30min a day for Rio boss

Andrew Harding has one of the toughest jobs in WA.

The Rio Tinto boss of iron ore is responsible for revenues of more than $US20 billion in a volatile market known for its ups and downs.
The 48-year-old, who has three teenage daughters, credits maintaining his balance to meditation.

“I try to meditate every day and aim for 30 minutes,” Mr Harding said. “I’m pretty successful at doing that, it’s an absolute pleasure.”

Mr Harding, pictured below, started at Rio Tinto as a mining engineer 23 years ago and has held the senior Rio Tinto for the past two years.

“The job has a lot of challenges,” he said. “My official job involves not just managing the iron ore business in the Pilbara, but also in Canada and looking after the country offices in China, Japan and Korea. It’s the whole package that’s interesting to me.”

Mr Harding said discipline was the key to the right work-life balance.

“I like to exercise and I make sure that when the alarm goes off, at 5am or 5.30am, I get up,” he added.

“(In) my job you could work every hour of the day, every day of the week.

“I try to maximise the amount of time I work Monday-to-Friday and have time off on weekends.”

Mr Harding is also an avid runner.

He has completed the New York marathon twice, his fastest time being 3 hours, 29 minutes.

Meditation made easy


Start with five minutes a day.

Find a comfortable place to sit or lie.

Start by counting your breath (one on the inhale, two on the exhale). When you reach 10 return to one. Start the count at one again every time your mind wanders.

Choose one activity a day and be mindful of it. Bring awareness to your breath and the sensations in your body. The activity could be as simple as brushing your teeth.

Stop, close your eyes and take a few full deep breaths at different times throughout the day.
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Apple founder Steve Jobs used Zen mindfulness as path to success

STEVE Jobs used one particular technique to help clear his mind and achieve dizzying heights of success.
It was mindfulness, the kind taught in Zen Buddhism, which an old-fashioned high-flyer might have dismissed as New Age mumbo-jumbo.
The Apple co-founder’s life changed after a visit to India in 1974. When he returned — head shaved, in traditional clothing and espousing the benefits of LSD — he embarked on a lifelong dedication to Zen Buddhism.
He went on long meditation retreats to Tassajara, the first Zen monastery in the US, where he learned to tune in to the activity of his brilliant mind. A Suzuki disciple, Kobun Chino Otagawa, officiated at Jobs’s 1991 wedding.
Tech writer Geoffrey James wrote this week that Jobs used what was formerly seen as rather esoteric “mind technology” to reduce stress, gain clarity and enhance his creativity.
In Walter Isaacson’s 2011 biography of Jobs, he quotes the computer genius as saying: “If you just sit and observe, you will see how restless your mind is.
“If you try to calm it, it only makes it worse, but over time it does calm, and when it does, there’s room to hear more subtle things — that’s when your intuition starts to blossom and you start to see things more clearly and be in the present more.

“Your mind just slows down, and you see a tremendous expanse in the moment. You see so much more than you could see before.”Jobs isn’t alone. Increasingly, corporates are harnessing the benefits of mindfulness, in an age where non-stop digital chatter makes it vital to help our brains focus.
Everyone from tech giants Google and Adobe to big businesses Target, Ford and Goldman Sachs is introducing a mindfulness program.Healthcare firm Aetna says this has saved them $2000 per employee in healthcare costs, and gained about $3000 per employee in productivity, The Atlantic reported.
This isn’t about peace or calm, it’s about crystallising answers in a sea of noise, and it’s advocated by high-achievers from Wall Street bankers to LinkedIn CEO Jeff Weiner, Forbes recently observed.
Indeed, old friends and business associates have recalled that spiritual Jobs had a cruel, egocentric side, with his biographer remarking: “Unfortunately his Zen training never quite produced in him a Zen-like calm of inner serenity, and that, too, is part of his legacy.”
At a memorial for Jobs at Stanford in October 2011, planned by the man himself, everyone was handed a box containing a copy of Paramhansa Yogananda’s spiritual memoir Autobiography of a Yogi.
Salesforce CEO Marc Benioff said intuition was Jobs’s greatest gift. “It was the last thing he wanted us to think about,” he told the TechCrunch Disrupt SF conference in 2013.
“The message was, actualise yourself.”
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Stress Relief Activties

RMC Auxiliary gives donation to support healing environment

Calm, soothing environments really do promote healing.

According to numerous medical studies, patients who spend time in an environment that features natural light, views of the outside world and a reasonable noise level report higher levels of satisfaction, less stress – and shorter hospital stays – than patients who spend time in noisy, dark, closed-to-the-outside world settings.

So when Agnesian HealthCare and Ripon Medical Center personnel began planning the new Ripon Medical Center, they purposefully created a soothing environment to facilitate healing. And, the Ripon Medical Center (RMC) Auxiliary played a part in that, according to Jackie Halverson, RMC Auxiliary president.

“Several years ago, when the hospital first started talking about the need to build a replacement hospital, the Auxiliary began saving to make a significant contribution to something for the new hospital,” Halverson explains. “As it became a reality, the Auxiliary decided it wanted to contribute to something that would be part of the healing and meditative environment of the new hospital.”

As a result, a committee was formed to identify a specific item for the RMC Auxiliary to support. The committee was comprised of RMC Auxiliary members – Joann Strandell, Iona Altnau and Audrey Kelma – who worked hand-in-hand with hospital administration to identify an item.

“Through this legwork, it was identified that a water wall in the Journeys Commons would help to support the hospital’s desire to feature healing spaces for its patients, visitors and associates,” Halverson explains. “Funds that were raised from Lights of Love campaigns in 2013 and 2014 were added to other funds set aside for this $22,000 contribution.”

The water wall, now in place, complements other healing space features, such as walls of windows, subdued lighting, a color palette inspired by nature (think soft tans and sage greens), meditation room and space for a healing garden.

“We truly appreciate all that the RMC Auxiliary does on an ongoing basis for the hospital,” said Katherine Vergos, RMC chief operating officer. “Their generosity has brought a welcome addition to patients and visitors when they first enter our new facility. It is a pleasure to work in conjunction with Auxiliary members who are so supportive of our mission.”

Other healing spaces include a fireplace in the atrium, as well as a multi-purpose meditation room, located adjacent to the emergency and surgery departments. A healing garden is coming – thanks to contributions to The Foundation for Ripon Medical Center Foundation – just beyond the walls of the meditation room.

For more than 72 years, the Ripon Medical Center (RMC) Auxiliary has been a steadfast partner with the hospital helping to support programs and services through various fund-raisers.

“RMC Auxiliary members play an integral role in the overall success of Ripon Medical Center,” said Halverson. “They help to sponsor fund-raising events that benefit patient programs, as well as scholarships to area students pursuing a career in healthcare. They are also members of Partners of the WHA (Wisconsin Hospital Association), and support advocacy efforts to communicate specific needs of patients and families with legislators.”

Members also support the Ripon Medical Center’s gift shop, off the new hospital’s atrium. The new gift shop is conveniently located near the hospital’s main entrance and is adding display areas to effectively showcase its merchandise for sale.

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Eat Right to Stay Right

Love Yourself

Reduce stress by sharing your load

Anxiety is caused, worsened or perpetuated by stress. And unfortunately, there is no shortage of stress in daily life. Interspersed between the consistent, low-grade, wear-you-down-over-time type of stress, all of us have days of fast-paced, unrelenting and "sharp pain" aggravations.

One common source of stress that fuels anxiety is the tendency to take on too many responsibilities at once. That makes delegating tasks to others is a great way to reduce your anxiety.

It's true that you may worry about whether the person to whom you assign the task or tasks will get the job done. But the stress associated with juggling numerous responsibilities throughout the day is lessened. As a result, you're less stressed, more efficient and effective, and avoid the nagging thought of, "How am I going to get everything done today?"

Below are a few delegation tips to get you going. If you follow each step in order, you're virtually guaranteed to gain more control of your anxiety.

Learn to let go.
You first need to let go of the notion that you, and only you, can correctly do what needs to be done. The world is filled with lots of competent people. Trust that those around you are able to ease your burden. (Just keep in mind that their level of willingness to ease your burden may well be a different issue.)

Choose the right person.
Before dishing out responsibilities, figure out what you think you need to do versus what others can do. For example, if asking your husband to pick up the kids after school will cause you to worry all day, then you may want to hang on to this task. Asking him to pick up some milk at the local commissary may be a better option. The goal is to let go of time-intensive tasks that will have minimal consequences if they're not done while maintaining control of those responsibilities deemed to be highest priority.

Be specific.
People do better when they know exactly what's expected. When you delegate something to someone, make sure to spell out exactly what it is you need help with. For example, instead of saying, "Can you take care of the kids tonight?" say, "Can you give Katie a bath, help Jake brush his teeth, and make sure they have lunches packed for tomorrow?"

Follow up.
If you want to make sure something doesn't get done, assign a task and forget about it. An important part of delegating responsibility is following up and making sure the task is completed. People are more likely to come through when they know someone will be checking on the final product. This should be no surprise for those in uniform — it's an implied aspect of being a good leader.

Written by Brett A. Moore
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How Do We Know That We Are on The Right Path In Life

A few ideas that resonated with me during my two years at Harvard Business School.  (Read: I stole these ideas from other far smarter and far wiser people.)

You spend your time doing things that give you energy rather than deplete your energy.  
I took a class titled “Power and Glory in Turbulent Times” with Nancy Koehn.  We studied all types of leaders from Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchill to Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs to Oprah and U2.  Nancy Koehn was insane - so much exuberance and intense knowledge of a wide variety of topics.  She’d recite David Foster Wallace passages and Abraham Lincoln letters from memory on a whim.  She’s the most bad-ass person I’ve ever known.  I’ll be watching a documentary about Henry Ford, and think, “Why is this voice familiar?”, and then realize it’s Nancy Koehn.

At the end of the semester, a group of students had lunch with Professor Koehn.  After telling us about a PBS documentary she was interviewed for, all of these New York Times articles and books she’s writing, and her love for horse-riding, I asked her, “How do you decide how to spend your time?”

She responded, “I just do things that give me energy.  Last week, I was recording for a PBS documentary in New York, and I was so energized afterwards that I skipped all the way to Penn Station.  I thought, ‘Hmm, I should do more of these.’  After I record our show for NPR, I’m so excited that I jingle my keys on the walk to my car.  Writing is so hard for me.  It’s so solitary and so gut-wrenching, but when I finish, I’m so excited and so glad I did it.  I just pay attention to what gives me more energy and just make sure I do more of those things.”

You consistently take the option you care about more.
Another bad-ass professor I had at HBS, Youngme Moon co-taught a class titled “Branding + Different”.  A lot of her business insights are included in her book “Different.”  I figure if I am plagiarizing people, then I should at least plug their books.

On the last day of class, all HBS professors do a final lecture, a revered tradition in the school where professors share deeply personal stories and heartfelt advice on personal and professional success.  Professor Moon dropped a lot of knowledge on us, but one thing she shared that seems relevant here is a story about her son.

Her son one day said, “You always tell me to do something I’m passionate about, but what if I’m not passionate about anything?”  She responded, “If at every choice you come to in life, what job to take, what subject to major in, what city to live in, if at every fork in the road you take the option you care about more, the option that gets you excited and whets your curiosity … then you’ll come to the next fork in the road and you’ll take the option you care about more… then you’ll come to the next fork in the road and you’ll take the option you care about more … you’ll keep coming to these forks and keep taking the options you care about more, then one day, you’ll wake up and realize that you’re doing something you’re passionate about."

You find your sweet spot.  

Find your sweet spot where what you love, what you're good at, and what society values intersect.  I stole this and am doing a terrible job paraphrasing it from the class “Authentic Leadership Development.”  We had the book “True North” by Bill George, so maybe I am stealing this from that book, but I’m too lazy to double-check.

This is the framework I found particularly helpful for making sure one’s on the right path in life.


Pulling this all together.
For me, making sure one’s on the right path in life is not a simple checklist or a one-time litmus test, but rather the result of a series of good decisions.   Or maybe it’s not even the series of good decisions but rather amassing diverse experiences and later piecing them together, as illustrated in Steve Job’s famous connecting-the-dots Stanford graduation speech.

Either way, if at every decision point – taking a new job, moving to a new location, starting new hobbies, teaching a class – you take the choice that gives leaves you more energized, tempts your curiosity more, and is at that intersection of what you’re good at, what you love, and what society values, then I imagine you’ll be well on your way to your right path in life.

Hope this helps. :)
 
Written by: Tara Hagan
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Stress on the Brain

Researchers have for the first time observed the effects of psychological stress on the human brain. In the study, scientists used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to spy on the brains of subjects who were asked to complete challenging arithmetic exercises while being monitored. The team also took note of the participants' emotional responses and changes in their stress hormone levels and heart rate; many reported feeling flustered and upset by the task.

The imaging results showed increased blood flow to the brain's prefrontal cortex, an area known to be associated with anxiety and depression, but also its ability to perform executive functions that allow humans to cope with environmental challenges and threats. Furthermore, the increased blood flow continued even after completion of the math problems. According to the team, the results suggest that although stress may enhance focus, too much of it may be damaging to mental health. The findings are to be published online this week by the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
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Airline Tests Midair Meditation to Calm Nervous Travelers

I feel sorry for anyone stuck sitting next to me on a flight (usually my wife). I am not, in general, particularly great on airplanes. Something about the combined indignities of airport security (stand in line, take your shoes off, get a pat down, put your shoes on, stand in another line) coupled with my body’s atavistic rejection of being 30,000 feet above ground turns me into a white-knuckled wreck the moment my plane hits the slightest hint of choppy air. I know airplanes are safe. I know the anxiety is entirely in my head. But try as I might, I simply can’t relax on airplanes.

Thankfully, my days of mid-air panic attacks may be coming to an end.

British Airways, reports PSFK, has begun testing a triptych of mindfulness meditation videos to be watched by nervous passengers, in the hopes of calming their frazzled flying nerves. The videos, made in partnership with The Mindfulness Institute, apply meditative techniques to the uniquely nerve-wracking experience of air travel by incorporating the feelings of flying into the mindfulness exercises.

Each video is just a few minutes long, and features Mindfulness Institute founder Mark Coleman leading a series of guided meditations that help passengers center themselves and “set a positive tone for the rest of [their] trip.” According to PSFK, the videos will be available to travelers via the in-flight entertainment systems found on British Airways’ planes.

There’s one for boarding, one for mid-flight and preparing to land.

The videos are part of British Airways’ ongoing efforts to calm the nerves of freaked out fliers. The airline also offers tips for healthy eating, drinking, and relaxation exercises to ease the experience of air travel. There’s even a dedicated course, led by airline crew along with a clinical psychologist, to help travelers overcome the most extreme cases of flying phobia.

Of course, there may be only so much “centering” a person can do before the realities of air travel burst their serene bubble. What’s more, the very practice of mindfulness may contain within it unexpected psychological effects. Still, for airline passengers, such as myself, who have a hard time calming their anxieties the moment they break the bonds of gravity, a little guided meditation (and maybe an in-flight drink drink or two) could make a world of difference.
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Should Student Success Include Happiness?

Student success today is defined by getting a job. The Common Core State Standards aim to make students career-ready -- and the U.S. Department of Education's mission is to prepare students for global competitiveness.

But does that brand of success lead to happiness? Several studies have found that childhood emotional health and kind, helpful behavior -- two major factors that contribute to our happiness --are the greatest predictors of life satisfaction in adulthood. The least important predictor? Academic success.

For sure, getting a job is a huge and important part of adulthood. But anyone who's ever been an adult knows that there's more -- so much more -- to life than work. And scientists have determined that experiencing positive emotions and having a sense of meaning in both our work and our personal lives are critical to our well-being.

So rather than making it an either/or situation -- either job skills or happiness and meaning --what if we taught students both? In other words, what if teaching them how to build happy and meaningful lives was integrated into the cultivation of their future employability?

Research on the importance of helping students develop skills that lead to happy and meaningful lives behooves educators (and policy-makers) to at least consider the possibility. Yet how exactly does learning to cultivate a happy and meaningful life fit into education? And even more importantly, how do we teach it?

Where happiness fits into education

According to leading happiness researcher Sonya Lyubomirsky, happiness is defined as "the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one's life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile."

In other words, happy lives are usually made up of a combination of positive emotions and meaningfulness -- both of which contribute greatly to a child's learning process and well-being.

Emotions play an integral role in education, affecting students' motivation, attention, social functioning, and ethical decision-making. For example, enjoyment of learning motivates students to put forth greater effort, whereas boredom only decreases effort. Anxiety lessens students' ability to problem-solve, but hope and pride can increase self-efficacy. Thus, creating safe and caring classrooms and designing engaging lessons, both of which promote positive emotions in students, should be high on a teacher's agenda.

One caveat: Emotion researchers state that feeling positive emotions all the time should not be the goal, as this actually lessens our well-being and happiness. And in certain circumstances, negative emotions such as anxiety can actually motivate students to study harder.

Instead, educators should recognize and validate students' emotional lives and help them work with all their emotions in a rich and balanced way. In this way, teachers are promoting students' emotional health, which is foundational to happiness.

In addition to positive emotions, happiness also depends on a sense of meaning -- that our lives and our experiences make sense and matter. Students often complain that what they're learning in school is not relevant to their lives, which can lead to disengagement.

Yet researchers have found that students who see the connection between their school work and their future work goals find more meaning in what they're learning -- on one condition: their goals must benefit others in addition to themselves, and not be oriented towards making money. This is a finding that holds true across diverse socio-economic and racial lines. In other words, focusing too much on money and careers can actually contribute to a sense of meaninglessness.

Research also shows that students who hold this kind of prosocial orientation experience greater well-being, are more likely to persevere in tedious academic tasks, and stay on track for college. Moreover, teachers who encourage their students toward this kind of approach to life are, once again, laying the foundation for happy and meaningful lives.

But can you teach happiness?

For teachers who want to help students develop happy and meaningful lives, does this mean that you have to completely rethink your curriculum and how you teach?

Not at all. In fact, educators who include social-emotional learning (SEL) and mindfulness in their classrooms are subversively cultivating their students' happiness and sense of meaning by fostering their emotional health and prosocial skills.

But there are some subtle nuances to the teaching of these skills that can enhance students' happiness and sense of meaning even more.

Make SEL and/or mindfulness a part of every lesson.

If you think about it, life does not parcel neatly into 50 minutes of academic content and then 20 minutes of happiness skills, such as SEL and mindfulness. Instead, life requires us to have the content knowledge and, at the same time, the know-how for getting along with others and, frankly, ourselves.

Teachers who integrate SEL directly into content areas help students develop socially and emotionally by making these skills relevant to their daily lives. Incorporating SEL and mindfulness into the day does not need to be complicated, nor does it need to take a lot of time. For example:

Before introducing a tough math concept, remind the students that if they start to feel frustrated, instead of quitting, they might do some belly breaths to help them stay calm and focused on the task at hand.

-Carefully select books that allow students to consider how a character in the text might be feeling.

-Allow them to explore what choices the character made and try to understand and empathize with why the character made those decisions.

-Start and end the day with two minutes of mindfulness practice, so that students learn the value of approaching life with a sense of calm and focus rather than distracted "busyness".

Let students work things out.
Imagine how awesome it would be if we only worked with people we got along with... but that's not life!

One of the greatest things teachers can do to help students cultivate skills for happiness and meaning is to give them opportunities to work with other students who challenge their social capacities. In this way, students learn the ins and outs of happiness-boosting qualities such as compassion, kindness, and forgiveness.

Yet, standing back and observing when cooperative groups are struggling can be really hard for teachers. And sometimes, just to avoid the whole situation, teachers will "engineer" working groups so that they're only made up of students who get along with each other--or they'll just throw cooperative learning out the window.

But rather than fearing the chaos that can ensue when students make behavior mistakes, educators might try embracing those golden moments because that's when students can really learn. In order for them to develop the skills and strategies they need to build positive relationships, they need chances to learn from their mistakes. Many SEL programs teach conflict resolution skills and the regular practice of mindfulness can help students become aware of when their ire has been roused and make the choice to respond in a more kind and helpful way.

In academic content areas we might start a lesson by saying, "I know some of our groups have struggled to work together. So what can we do today to make working together go more smoothly? What ground rules do we need to set? What tools do we have if things get tough?" And then after the lesson, reflect on what worked and what did not work. Make a list that you can refine and revisit each time students work together.

Build in time for reflection.

Reflection helps us build meaning in our lives. It allows us to bring our humanity into what we are doing by asking how something changed our thinking, our view of the world, our beliefs about others or ourselves.

Teachers who give students time to reflect on what they're learning and experiencing--both internally and externally--help make the curriculum relevant to students' lives. They see that not only are they learning content knowledge, they're also learning to connect with each other, to be empathetic, to understand their own needs and the needs of others. In other words, they're learning the foundation of what it means to live a happy and meaningful life.

Ultimately, we must ask ourselves, "What exactly are we educating for?" As our society evolves and as we gain a deeper understanding of who we are as human beings, the answer to this question is changing. No longer is it enough to train for job skills--because how we live our lives really matters.
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Does Stress Feed Cancer?

A little stress can do us good—it pushes us to compete and innovate. But chronic stress can increase the risk of diseases such as depression, heart disease and even cancer. Studies have shown that stress might promote cancer indirectly by weakening the immune system's anti-tumor defense or by encouraging new tumor-feeding blood vessels to form. But a new study published April 12 in The Journal of Clinical Investigation shows that stress hormones, such as adrenaline, can directly support tumor growth and spread.

For normal cells to thrive in the body, "they need to be attached to their neighbors and their surroundings," says the study's lead author Anil Sood from The University of Texas M. D, Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. Cells that detach from their environment undergo a form of programmed cell death called anoikis. "But cancer cells have come up with way to bypass this effect—they avoid anoikis," Sood says. This allows cancer cells to break off from tumors, spread throughout the body (in blood or other fluid) and form new tumors at distant sites—a process called metastasis. So Sood wondered: Could stress affect anoikis? "It surprised us that this biology hadn't been studied before," he notes. "Stress influences so many normal physiological processes. Why wouldn't it be involved in tumor progression?"

Sood and his team first studied the effects of stress hormones on human ovarian cancer cell anoikis in culture. Cells that were exposed to stress hormones were protected from self destruction—meaning they could survive without being anchored to their surroundings. The stress hormone treatment activated a protein called FAK (focal adhesion kinase), which is known to protect cells from anoikis. Inhibiting FAK reversed the effects.

But real tumors behave differently than cancer cells in vitro, so Sood and his team extended their exciting findings into a mouse model of cancer. After receiving a transplant of ovarian cancer cells, mice were restrained to cause stress. As such, their tumors grow more quickly. Isoproterenol (a drug similar to adrenaline) had the same accelerative effect. The tumor-feeding effects of behaviorally and pharmacologically induced stress, both of which were mediated by FAK, were inhibited by the adrenaline-blocking drug propranolol.

But how closely does the stress caused by restraining a lab animal mimic that experienced by human patients? Sood and colleagues looked at samples from 80 cases of human ovarian cancer grouped according to patient stress using the National Institutes of Health's Center for Epidemiological Studies Depression scale as a surrogate marker. Patient stress (according to the scale), along with elevated stress hormone activity were associated with higher levels of activated FAK, which was in turn linked to faster disease progression.

Ovaries contain high levels of stress hormones compared with other organs, but Sood plans to investigate whether the stressors could still be involved in other types of cancer. He hopes to identify ways to interfere with the tumor-feeding effects of stress hormones either behaviorally or pharmacologically. "Reducing the hormone levels may not be so easy," Sood says. "Blocking the receptors using drugs like beta-blockers or antidepressants may be a better strategy." Teaching patients to manage their stress using cognitive behavioral therapy might also be effective, he adds. "We're really trying to understand the biology. We hope it will help us identify better therapeutic strategies."